When Farts Had Colors by Mark Thomas

Author:Mark Thomas [Thomas, Mark]
Language: eng
Format: mobi
Publisher: Peak City Publishing
Published: 2011-11-11T04:30:00+00:00

“Young man, you dropped a nasty fart bomb in the kitchen, of all places, before you left this morning.”

“But Mom, that was an accident. You know I’m lack-toes-holler-runt, I mean, lactose intolerant. I didn’t mean to,” Lance tried to explain.

“Lance, I don't know which one I'm feeling the most: upset or embarrassed. People are probably going to talk behind my back, if they haven't started already. 'Oh, there goes Mrs. Chance. Did you know her son is a Fart Terrorist?'”

Lance's mom continued, “You know I have my book club coming over for lunch tomorrow. I have so much work to do I just can't deal with you now, at least, not how you need to be dealt with.”

“Here we go,” thought Lance.

“First, I want you to stay in this room the rest of the day. You are not to leave it until you're ready for school in the morning. You can look at television tonight, so you'll stay out of my hair. Believe me, Mister, you won't be watching it for a long time after today. And as far as your computer is concerned, forget about it.”

“But Mom—”

“In this house, from now on, children will be—and don’t you finish this sentence with me—children will be seen and not heard.” Lance's mom gave him a hard look. Lance said nothing.

“Finally, I will bring dinner up to you tonight and leave it outside your door. I’ll knock to let you know it's there. I’d better only see a hand outside that door.” Lance's mom gave him another hard look.

“I'm about to close this door, young man. I hope I have made myself crystal clear.” She gave him her hardest look yet, and then closed the door.

Lance mumbled, “Anything you say, sergeant.”

“I heard that Lance. Don't make me come back in there!”

Lance could feel his mom giving him the hardest look of them all, right through the door. Wisely, Lance said nothing this time. He knew better.

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